I, too, was in your situation. However, I found my "Lady". My lady loved to be spanked or whipped. She would come to the bed in a short nightgown and panties. There was always a reason she needed punishment. I then told her to fetch the strap. I restrained her and lowered her panties to her ankles. Then the strapping began. She received lashes from her back to her knees. She even purchased a riding crop and begged me to us it on her. After, I either came in her mouth, ass or pussy- however I felt at the time. The next day, she called me and told me about the beautiful "souvenirs" I had given her. I have also used thin plastic tubing on her bottom. It makes a beautiful whipping noise just before it strikes her bare bottom. I hope you find your "Lady". The sex after is unbelievable.